


He Smiled

by DoTheBurnie



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Cancer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:43:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoTheBurnie/pseuds/DoTheBurnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin Free and Michael Jones are ready to tell the rest of the Achievement Hunter crew that they've started dating, but just as they're about to reveal the news, things take a turn for the worse when Gavin faints.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Smiled

**Author's Note:**

> More of a rough draft than anything else, but I figured I should put something up! It's definitely more cliche in most parts than I'd like, but sometimes you have to let yourself write kind of badly to get better.

Michael smiled at himself in the mirror. It was a new day, and if things went as he hoped, it was going to be a good day, too. Two days ago, he had finally asked Gavin to be his officially. Gavin had said yes, and their relationship had begun. Today though, they planned on telling the others – Ray, Geoff, Jack, Ryan, and everyone else in the office. Michael figured that was smarter than trying to keep it a secret, which tended to not work out well in the office. Michael and Gavin’s relationship would have to surface sooner or later.

Gavin grinned as he walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast.  
“Good morning!” he said to the Ramseys cheerily, although he had a headache.  
“Why are you so happy?” Griffon asked, with a confused smile playing on her lips.  
“What? I’m not any happier than I usually am!” Gavin replied.  
“Gavin is happy!” Millie said, mirroring Gavin’s expression. He ruffled her hair gently as he passed by her.  
“Yeah, I am,” he said softly. He grabbed some bread and turned towards the toaster, only to find Geoff staring at it with a cup of coffee in his hand.  
“What are you doing?” Gavin asked.  
Geoff twitched as if jolted from sleep. “What does it look like I’m doing?”  
“Staring at the toaster.”  
“Waiting for it to hurry up.”  
Gavin let out a small laugh.

Michael tousled his hair with a towel to dry it, put on some clothes, and brushed his teeth. He was ready to go, and so that he did. When he got to the office, Gavin wasn’t there yet, and neither was Geoff. That wasn’t too odd, though, since he was a little early. Michael was sure nothing was wrong.  
He sat down at his desk and tried to figure out what all he needed to do that day, though he was quite distracted.  
“Good morning Michael!” Gavin twittered.  
Geoff gave him a weird look behind his back, which Michael saw but didn’t respond to.  
“How are you guys today?” Michael asked, making sure he didn’t focus just on Gavin too much.  
“I’m all right, but Gav’s kind of freaking me out,” Geoff said, making his way over to his desk.  
“Why?” Gavin asked innocently, feigning emotional pain. “All I’m doing is seeing bappy.”  
Geoff and Michael stared at him for a moment, and then glanced at each other, needing to make sure they had heard the same thing.  
“Wh…What?” Gavin asked  
“You’re _what?_ ” Michael asked.  
“Being happy. That’s what I said!”  
Geoff chuckled mockingly. “No it’s not.”  
“Sure it is!” Gavin replied, but seeing the skeptical looks of the others made him add a question. “What on earth did I say then?”  
“Seeing bappy or some shit like that,” Michael replied.  
“I didn’t say that!” Gavin protested.  
“All right, sure you didn’t,” Geoff conceded insincerely.  
The day went on as normal after that, other than Gavin complaining intermittently about headaches. The boys ordered pizza for lunch that day. As they were eating, Michael decided that it was the right time to break the news.  
“Hey, guys, I’ve got something to say,” he began during a lull in the conversation.  
All eyes were on him in a single second, except Gavin’s, who were watching for the others’ reactions.  
“Yeah?” Jack prompted.  
“Gavin and I are dating now. I asked him out a couple days ago,” Michael announced, void of drama.  
“You assholes! I knew it!” Geoff immediately said.  
“You did not!” Jack protested at Geoff. “You didn’t know it, you were just guessing!”  
As Jack and Geoff argued, Ray put in a comment of his own. “Congratulations, guys,” he said. “Glad to see you’re both even gayer than we thought.”  
Gavin opened his mouth to say something, but seemed unable to get the words out. Michael noticed but decided not to say anything. Instead, the couple shared a laugh with Ray.  
Ryan, who was eating lunch with them, raised his bottle of soda in a toast. The others followed his prompt easily.  
“Congrats to Michael and Gavin, who finally owned up to their feelings,” he said, half teasing, as they toasted.  
One bottle clattered to the table, spilling everywhere. The water from it dripped off the table, and for a moment while everyone figured out what was going on, the rhythmic dripping was the only sound to be heard. Michael was the first to realize what had happened.  
“Gavin!” he said, jumping out of his chair and leaning over Gavin, who had slumped down in his chair, unconscious. “Gavin wake up!”  
Geoff was the next to move. “Jack, call 9-1-1,” he ordered, then moved to Michael and Gavin. He had Michael step back, and moved Gavin slowly onto the floor, checking his breathing. It seemed that he was breathing normally, and as if nothing else was awry. Michael kneeled close to Gavin, taking his limp hand gently. Ray kneeled beside Michael, staring at Gavin.  
Jack got off the phone and announced that the ambulance was on its way.  
Halfway through Jack’s sentence, Gavin’s eyes fluttered open. It was easy to see confusion in them. “A-ambulance? Where am I?” Gavin mumbled, his words slurred. Gavin looked around for a moment and as he figured out where he was, he became confused. “Why am I on the floor? I thought Ray just told a joke? What’s happening?” He saw Michael kneeling close to him and tried to sit up, but Geoff wouldn’t let him.  
“Gavin?” Michael said quietly.  
“Michael, what’s going on?” he asked.  
“You passed out, Gav,” Michael replied gently. “We’re taking you to the hospital.”  
The ambulance arrived then, and Michael volunteered to ride with Gavin and the paramedics, assuring the others that he would call if there was any other trouble. They reluctantly agreed and Michael climbed into the back of the vehicle. He could feel his heart pounding rhythmically in his chest, as if it was trying to give its life force to the man on the stretcher in front of him, being tended to by the paramedic.

After the tests were run at the hospital, the doctor prescribed an MRI immediately, fearing that the fainting was connected with the headaches. Michael also pulled the doctor aside and told him about Gavin’s speech problems earlier on that day, and the doctor made a discouraging face, then nodded and took note of it.  
Michael returned to Gavin’s bedside, and put his hand on the Englishman’s. Gavin turned his hand over and squeezed Michael’s. He had seen the doctor’s expression, and didn’t want to show his worry, but couldn’t help it. Michael stayed with him until he was removed for his MRI.  
Waiting in a comfortable chair while Gavin was having more blood drawn and being scanned, Michael’s foot tapped involuntarily and rhythmically. It was the only sound in the waiting room aside from the typing of the nurse at the front desk, which in itself was rhythmic.  
Gavin came back out about an hour later and sat down for a moment next to Michael.  
“That thing is loud, Michael. I had to lie still for two hours!” Gavin whined.  
Michael cracked a little smile. “I bet it was hard for you, then, huh, Gavin?”  
Gavin laughed. “You have no idea!”

They went back to the hospital and Gavin was returned to the room in which he had first been put. The doctor came in a few minutes later, while Gavin and Michael were having a moment with their foreheads together. They were both scared for the doctor’s diagnosis, though neither would admit it. The doctor came back in and very gently told Gavin that he was suffering from a high grade glioblastoma multiforme between his temporal and occipital lobes, on the ventral side of his brain. Both men stared at the doctor for a moment.  
“So,” Michael probed, “what is that?”  
“Mr. Free has a malignant tumor that is likely to grow too large within the next four or five months. This will be with intensive chemo and radiation therapy, as well as other medications. It will continue growing until it threatens vital parts of his brain and eventually kills him.” The doctor looked at Gavin. “I will do everything to help that I can, but ultimately, you have to make the decision of whether or not to accept treatment.”  
Gavin swallowed. “Can you not take it out or something?”  
The doctor shook his head. “I’m afraid not. It’s in a dangerous place.”  
“Right,” Gavin replied, his throat tight.  
Michael looked at the doctor. “Would you give us a moment?” The doctor obliged.  
After watching him leave, Gavin and Michael spoke at once.  
“Do the treatment,” Michael said.  
“I don’t want to do the treatment,” Gavin said.  
“Why the hell not, Gavin?” Michael asked.  
“Michael, I’m going to die anyway,” he said, laughing a bit, though it was pained, “why do it and be in pain? I want to go out naturally. The world wants to kill me off, so I’ll die. It’s ok, Michael.” He smiled encouragingly.  
Michael’s breathing and heart rate grew faster. “Gavin! They might be able to get it if they treat it! Fuck, Gavin, please. We just started going out this can’t happen now!”  
“Michael,” Gavin said, taking Michael’s hand and pulling him in close. “We have time,” he whispered in Michael’s ear, and then kissed the man on the lips.  
Ultimately, Michael convinced Gavin to at least try the treatment. If it was clear that it wasn’t going to work, Gavin would ask the doctor to stop treatment and only accept pain medication and other small medications meant to make him comfortable. 

The first month was easier than both had expected. True, Gavin’s hair had fallen out quickly, he vomited and fainted a bit, and he was a little weak, but other than that, he wasn’t much affected, able to talk without much trouble, other than a few slips, like normal. Gavin and Michael mostly went about their normal lives, except when Michael drove Gavin to therapy. Michael waited for Gavin in the waiting room during these times, hearing only the rhythmic ticking of the clock as more time was lost. Gavin came out of the therapy sessions in pain and tired, and Michael would take him home and stay with him all day.

The second month was harder. Gavin was going through more treatment, and it was becoming clear that it wasn’t going to work. Gavin had begun speaking about his funeral, how he didn’t want it to be dramatic and he just wanted it to be a casual affair. He laughed when he said that, thinking describing a funeral as a casual affair was funny. Halfway through this month, his close family came to America to be with him since Gavin needed to stay by the therapy center he had started at. It was a very good center, but still, it did not seem like it would be able to remove or stop the cancerous growth.

The third month was where it began to truly go downhill. Gavin was now in the hospital all the time and Michael stayed with him for as long as he could every day. Gavin was beginning to lose the ability to recognize objects and speak coherently most of the time. He was weak and often asleep. There were moments of clarity, however, and Michael treasured these the most.  
“Why does cheese taste like cheese?” he asked one time.  
“Gavin, cheese tastes like cheese because it wants to,” Michael replied, thinking that if Gavin didn’t have a brain tumor, this would be a rather normal thing for him to ask. Gavin giggled at his answer, a peaceful smile lingering on his face.  
“Michael, where do you think I’ll go when I die? I hope it will be nice,” Gavin commented. He looked at Michael and smiled. “Of course, nothing could be better than being here with you.” Gavin tried to lift his head, but his body wouldn’t let him. Michael leaned in close for him, and Gavin gave him a soft kiss. “Michael, I think I want to stop therapy.”  
Michael’s throat tried to close up. “But Gavin, you’ve still got a couple months. They might still be able to get it!”  
“I want to stop – Have you ever seen a butterfly pee? I wonder what that looks like.” 

Gavin had stopped treatment by the end of the third month, and in the fourth it was clear that Gavin probably wouldn’t last even this next month. He requested to be moved back home with hospice care, so he could die in comfort. Other visitors came and went, but Michael stayed with him all of the time, except for some meals and trips to the bathroom. Gavin was having a hard time hearing, and now he couldn’t speak most of the time. Occasionally, Michael would leave and talk to Geoff for a bit in order to get his frustration out.  
“Why did this happen?” he would ask. “Am I fucking being punished? I can’t lose him now!”  
And then he would go back to Gavin, whom he found smiling and giggling. “Where’d ya goo, Mi-cool?” he would ask, slurred words abundant.  
“Just out for a bit,” Michael would say, loudly, close to Gavin’s ear so that he could hear.

One night near the end of the fourth month, Michael was awoken from the chair he slept in by Gavin spluttering and coughing.  
“Mi… Chael…” Michael heard in the incoherence. Gavin’s noise stopped all of a sudden. Michael rushed to the bedside, his footsteps echoing in the otherwise silent room.  
“Michael… I… Love…” Gavin’s voice trailed off as he fell into a deep sleep that would turn into nothingness by the time dawn came.  
“Gavin, I love you too,” Michael said, holding Gavin’s limp hand and laying his head of curly hair on the man’s chest, feeling it rise and fall until it stopped and light seeped through the curtains on the window.

The men and women passed one by one by the casket. Griffon held onto Geoff’s arm tightly. Jack could barely keep his nose from dripping thanks to crying. Burnie attempted to maintain a calm demeanor, but anyone who looked could see tears in his eyes. A couple of tears rolled down Jack’s cheeks as he walked past. Gus shook his head, helpless to do anything to fix this, though he desperately wanted to. The others were similarly affected, all making their procession past the casket, past Gavin’s body, and past the loss of their friend and colleague’s life. Ray was the last one to the casket. He paused longer before the casket than the others had, staring at Gavin’s peaceful face. It looked like he could be sleeping. Gavin would wake up any moment, wouldn’t he? He and Michael and Gavin were supposed to be Team Lads together. But Ray knew it wasn’t true and had to turn away, following the others to the chairs, listening as the preacher, and those others who wanted to, said their last words about Gavin Free. Michael held his head high as he walked to the podium beside the casket.

“I don’t have any prepared thing or whatever, so I won’t bore you guys for too long. I just want to say some things. I wish I could have met Gavin earlier. He was the only one for me or some shit like that, except that doesn’t matter anymore.” Michael could feel the rhythmic beating of his heart as he spoke, fighting to break loose of his chest and be with the man in the casket. “And I wish he could have gotten better and been here for all of us. But that doesn’t matter either because I wish a lot of things, but it doesn’t change anything. But Gavin, I want you to know that you’ll never die, not really. Not while I’m alive. And not while any of us are alive. We have the memories of all the times you were stupid and annoying and of all the times you were a good friend and of all the times you made us laugh, and let me tell you, that was a ton. Hell, even your nose made us laugh, it is – was – so fucking huge… And Gavin, I hope you can hear this from wherever you are, because I love you, and I’ll never stop loving you.” By this time, tears were dripping down Michael’s face, just as the water had dripped off the table the first day Gavin had fainted. “And I want everyone here to remember him with me, and remember all the laughs and good times we had, and when we’d play stupid games and keep him from winning and everything. When we would all gang up on him and he’d just laugh it off. How he’d mess with us too. How he was loyal, even if he pretended like he wasn’t, that little bitch.” Michael was almost too distraught to speak, but he continued. “And I want everyone to remember how, even when he knew he was going to die, he smiled.”


End file.
